What is bliss? It is as simple as sleeping and waking up feeling better than you have in weeks. It is an unexplainable happiness that comes from the bottom of your soul when you have no reason in life to feel this happy. It is knowing that there are problems in your life; yet they are a dim presence on the edge of your conscience compared to the peace you feel in your mind, heart, and spirit. Yes they are still there: work, bills, illness, stress, and my old friend exhaustion. None of that matters when you feel the bliss that comes from only one source in the universe and that source is the One true God. Give all the ugly to Him and what follows is Bliss. You can’t control it. You can’t grab it and force it into your life. He sends it. It settles on you like a blanket from heaven, a dove on your shoulder….it is a warmth that starts at the top of your head and slides completely through your being to the bottom of your feet. You feel it in your body and deep in your core.
Bliss is God’s presence in you.
I am so tired. .. I am tired of grand events, parties, drinking Mojito’s on the beach,shopping for the perfect pair of shoes, sitting in the cafe’ writing the next big thing, watching the sunset over Key West with my girls and…oh wait that is not my life….I go to work every day and do what I have to do. It seems that every day gets longer and rest is shorter. I am not sure what is going on with me. I am tired. Tired of fake people, back biters , drama, liars, trouble makers and bulls**it…..yeah all of that. I am just plain tired. I am tired of a job that used to be fun now it is not. This is so not my life….oh but yeah..guess what? It is.
I am tired of going no where fast and struggling slow. Working to an end of …..what? Retirement? I am tired now. I want to soar. I want to get away I want to fly away…hey hey hey ……..I want the sun on my face and the wind at my back. I want a future so bright…..shades anyone? I am just tired……I am even too tired to write….ok I am never that tired. I will write when I can’t hardly even think. I am never to tired to write.
Hello, is any body out there on the edge of reason hanging on with a pinky finger that was a square once? Where are my binoculars? If I sqint and strain my eyes maybe I can see the future that I have in my dreams. It is bright and blinding….I can almost see it…..it is so far out of reach…..but if I try……ahhhh….there it is, just on the other side of Get-over-it Hill…..right before You-can- do- it Lane……There see? That is my life…..now sit back and watch me get there. Right after a quick snooze…NO….There will be no sleep. I made promises to her. Can’t nap, not today. I have to write…write that novel, that story, you know the secret one that I want no one to read yet everyone will want to….the one I have to write before I die……yeah that one….the one that has dollar signs dripping from every page….it will be my money maker….. my dream taker….that story. I hear it in the coners of my mind wispering to be written, but I am so very very tired.
I have had some kind of week. It is hard to say what kind, nothing seems to fit and everything fits. It was a busy, stress filled, sad, happy, kind of week. I guess the most significant thing that happened is the Muffin, my sixteen year-old-cat died in her sleep. I know she was old and sick but she was my kitty. We had been through allot together. I have had her almost as long as I have been married. I am sad and I miss her but I know she isn’t suffering now. It was coming down to a point that I was going to have to make a decision about having her put asleep. God took her in her sleep so I did not have to make the decision. I am glad He saved me from that, it was hard enough knowing she was very sick. I miss her. She was my stress relief. It is a scientific fact that owning a pet, especially a cat, can reduce your blood pressure and reduce stress. Every morning she would get up at 4:00 Am with me. I would give her a sip of milk and she would stay with me til I went to work. She would wait for me to come home and climb on my lap for some petting. She always went to bed with me and was a snuggle kitty. Don’t get me wrong, her nick name was Meanness. She loved to bite, hiss and growl too. One of her favorite past times was to let Paul, my nephew, pull her tale and then bite at him. She would act mad and run away, then come back and meow at him to do it again. Crazy cat.
I may get another kitty. I am just not so sure I want one yet. I am not looking to replace Muffin, she is irreplaceable. It’s just that I have always had a kitty. I got my first set of kitties when I was six. Two little black and white boys named Starsky and Hutch. (Yes after the show). Then I had Tomasina Tigger, Precious, Turquoise, Diamond, Pepsi, Toby, Dandelion, Tom, (then Muffin), Meko (Amanda’s kitty), Boomer and the infamous Paxton (Kelli’s kitty). Wow that is allot of kitties. I still have Paxton. He is an old boy.
I am not sure yet. I will have to wait and see. I love and miss you Muffin Meanness. May 1993-April 2009
While most people I know are celebrating Easter with egg hunts, good food, and chocolate, I am sitting here reflecting on Jesus. Ok I will have a chocolate rabbit too. I really wanted to go to church this morning. I woke up with a migraine. I wonder why. I feel ok, but I could not get myself moving in time to go to church. Does it make me less of a Christian because I do not put on my pretty Easter dress and go to Church. Alot of people go to Church at Easter but hardly go all year. That is not me. I want to go. Not for the dressing up but to honor God. Anyway, I decided to have church at home. I hear in the back of my head, “you can’t do that”. Oh but I can. I am going to have music, bible study, preaching by Charles Stanly and even a presentation. (I am going to watch The Passion of Christ.) So it is not the same as going to church, but at least I am focusing what is really important about Easter, remembering Jesus and His gift to us.
I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made.
Who, for us men and for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.
And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father and the Son; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets.
And I believe one holy and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.
It is such a beautiful day today. It rained inches and inches the past few weeks, now all I see is blue sky and sun. I am so happy that my hubby and I live here. I just love it. I am cleaning and getting rid of dust. All kinds of dust. Dust in my house and in my brain.
I am over the turning 40 thing. I made some birthday resolutions with myself and God. Life is good….almost perfect…..ok I wouldn’t go that far but it is good.