Priorities

I am thinking about priorities. I am not saying the I don’t know what are my top priorities are, I do. That is the easy part. My list looks like this:

God, Family, Work, Money, Writing, Self……

That is where I get a bit crazy. I want my list to look like this….

God, Family,Writing self, money, work….

The hard part is that priorities do not always line up nicely in a list but more like in a circle or a blob. Some days my list gets jumbled up so that I can not tell what I should focus on first. My work is stressful, my writing is difficult, my family is also sometimes difficult,money is short and I get angry with the self. So that is the dilemma, how to I get my priorities to line up and behave without neglecting any of them?

The answer God. I gave him all the stuff….I literally said “God here I can’t deal with any of this stuff any longer you take it.” There was an intense rush of temporary relief. It was temporary because I took it back from God the first time I got scared. At that point I screwed them up very nicely…all but my family, they are good. The rest is pretty much a shambles. My job is crazy, my money is tight, my writing is haphazard, and my self is tired and fat.

I gave things back over to God a second time but with conditions. Some of my demands were that I write what I want, give the amount of money I want, work where I want and eat what I want. Basically, do what I want and let God direct it like some manager of my life instead of what He really is, the owner of my life. This went very fine for a bit until I realized that over time I had slowly gathered everything back up and was controlling the list again….that’s when the blob stated taking over. Things were a jumbled up mess.

So, that is where I decided to give it to God and resist the compulsion to snatch it back when I think it should go my way instead of His. I gave up on my demands and gave up all control.

This is where I am now. Listening and doing what I can to follow God’s will not my own. I am not planing or coniving….just doing what God tells me is right.

Thank You for Sunshine

It is a beautiful day today. I am sitting looking out the window feeling the Winter cold seep out of the corners of my house and happy warm sun push its way in through the window. I am so tired of cold. I am a Florida girl and I do not like cold weather. Cold makes my feel old and tired, where as warm happy sunshine makes me feel young and alive. It’s amazing how a little sunshine can improve my mood. Thank you God for sun shiny days.

Skeletons

We have all done things that shame us. We all have heard the saying about skeletons in the closet. My skeletons had a nasty habit of sneaking out and in to my life on occasion. When I had one of those sneaky things slip out  I firmly kicked it back into the closet and put a much bigger lock on the door. After I gathered my thoughts, I decided to talk to God about it and see what does he say about past things staying put and how to deal with the escapees.  I wanted my ugly past gone for good.

Mat 21-22 “Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive.” Before I did anything with the skeletons I went to God in prayer.  I wanted to make sure that I followed God’s will in everything in my life including my past.

Luke 8:17  “For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.” Guess what? Even skeletons that have been in the closet for years will be found out. God knows all things and secrets will come to light, so deal with  the ugliness in your past. Talk about it to God and follow his instructions. If God tells you to talk to the other people in you life that the skeleton may hurt or did hurt then do it. If God says handle this one on your own, then do it. Once all is out in the open, the ugly thing looses some of its hold on you. I know this is hard. I can hear you say, “I can’t deal with that it will be much to painful.” It is better to deal with them on your terms with God than to let them jump out and force you to deal with them when you are not ready. Pray and seek help from God. He will let you know when and how to deal with the skeletons. Skeletons hate light, but God’s light is what it takes to put your past in it’s place.

Acts 3:19  “Repent therefore, and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out”  Repent of the ugliness. Say that you are sorry to the people the skeleton did hurt. Apologise for your behavior and take responsibility for it.  Yes it hurts and yes it is ugly, but it is vital to repent of all the things in your past. This also takes power away from the past.  Don’t forget the lessons learned from the skeleton, but repent the hurt and ugliness caused. We learn about the glory of God by facing the ugly things. We grow in our faith when we have to deal with things that creep up from our past.

 2 Cor 5:17 “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!’ All things in your old life are made new through your new life in Christ. Jesus died for our sin to be forgiven. He did not say for all our sin except the ones we lock up in the closet. He died for all of it. To hold on to a thing in a closet is to not fully accept God’s gift of grace. It is like telling God, ” I will deal with these ugly skeletons here, but I will give you the rest.” If you take them out, deal with them, and give them to God, you will experience a new life in ways you never have before.

I opened the door of my closet, lined up the skeletons and dealt with them one by one. I did what was right with each one. I looked  them square in the face and sent them all packing. With all of them I asked God for His guidance and help. I took the lock and door right off the closet and decided not to use it for skeletons again.

There is something very freeing about living life out in the open and not hiding skeletons. Take the power away from your past. Give it all to God, deal with it and the skeletons will be gone for good.

So….where are those jumper cables?

So..I was thinking, life is so….*ugh*….hard…predictable….boring….ok maybe not all life just mine. Day in and day out….blah blah blah….What now?… Work…..of course….everyday work work  even on my so-called day off I work at home on some thing or the other…How many hours are in a day? Not enough….How much can I get done with less money and time? I don’t know it’s a mystery……..great….now I am asking and answering my own questions…and talking to myself…out loud. Call the shink…it’s offical I have completey lost it.

This was the conversation going on in my head on my way   to work last Friday, complaining to myself about the sameness of my life, the job that has stressed me to the hilt, and life in general.  I am really wishing for a better job. By better I mean more fulfilling. I am not so concerned with more money though I would not be against the idea. Just I feel like a rat on a big wheel spinning and running going no where fast….and I hate that feeling.

As I was having a poor me I hate my job and life sucks momnet, I approached a stop light at a major intersection and I saw a flash of movement on my right. I turned to see a woman dressed in casual business attire  jumping up and down waving a set of jumper cables in her hand yelling for one of the rats in the rat race to stop and help her. It gets a bit worse.

Here in Florida the normal low temperature for this time of year is 35-40 degrees. Last Friday morning it  was 22 degrees with a wind chill of 12. So the plight of this poor woman just trying to go to a job was not just a car that  refused to start but it was cold. Bone chilling bitter cold. The houses on this street are not the average for the area in size or value. The home behind the woman was old and in need of some repair. A new coat of paint would not have hurt either. As I looked closer she was wearing a coat that was not sufficient for the weather. Here was a woman just trying to get to work with no one to help her jump off the battery.

My heart sank.  As I hit my blinker to turn around, a gentleman in a big heavy-duty pick up truck in front of me turned around to go help the woman in distress.  With all the bad things you see and hear about society these days, I saw a good Samaritan in action.  My heart smiled! There is chivalry in this world.  I smiled at the sight of a stranger helping someone in need….yes, there is good in this world! Secretly it relieved me that I didn’t have to get out in the cold to help her. Then I felt it…the gray cloud of guilt settled in the car around me.

What have you done for someone in need? Who have you helped? All you do is complain about what you have…if you don’t like it give it away or change it!…again with the talking to myself…  I have a nice car that always starts, a decent house with great heat, warm clothes and I was complaining about my job that all in all pays good for Florida. I should thank God for my blessings and stop complaining. Yeah….I told the pessimistic complainer in my head to shut up and go to work. It could always be worse. I should just be very happy that in this economy that I have a job. I should just be thankful for what Ido have and spend less time complaining about it, count  blessings, and make sure I  know where the jumper cables are for my humility.