Why is it when we sit and do nothing that it feels like we are cheating on someone or something? It is quiet and I am relaxed, but my mind thinks it should be occupied with some sort of activity. Why isn’t it simply enough to be happy. You know that happy you feel when you are in your lover’s arms and there is nothing to do, nowhere to be. That peaceful sigh that escapes your mind as you settle in the moment. Do you remember that feeling? Was it so long ago? Seems a life time past.
I miss that sort of peace, that quiet, soulful peace. I want to feel that again, but my mind will not settle down and stop thinking that it has to be busy with some sort of distraction. Th only way I can make it stop is to read or write. Write or read. I guess that peaceful rest is not for me at this moment. I will go spend time with my books. They won’t judge me or force me into reading what feels wrong. I can just be in their presence. Happy.