I have the blues today, and yet I am happy in a lot of ways. I am trying to accept the fact that life is not always something I can control. For instance, I love my kids and grandchildren to the point that I want to pack up and move 730 miles to where they live to be closer to them. There I said it. I miss them more than I can say. I pray for God’s will and I know that moving is not the right thing to do. I miss my family more and more each day. There are other things that I want so badly that I can, as the old saying goes, almost taste it. I continue to pray about it, but I am not getting the answers I want.
That is making me blue.
I am still so very happy too. I am at a place in my life that I never thought I would be. I am happy that I have succeeded on several fronts. I know that without God it never would have happened and I would have never got to this point in my life. I feel blessed and thankful to God beyond measure. I can see where God has answered many prayers for me.
That has made me happy.
Therein lies the confusion. How can one be thankfully happy and terribly sad all at the same time?
I wonder if this is how Moses felt looking on to the promise land and yet not being allowed to continue? Was he elated and sad all at the same time? Blessed and thankful to God yet sad that he was not going to step further?
Is it God’s way to teach a lesson by showing you what you desire then not allowing you to have it because He has other plans for you? I am not so sure about that. I have no proof that God works in that way. I know we can make plans and have wants, but God knows our path. He knows His will. It is our responsibility to listen to the call and do that which He desires us to do. We must under all circumstances follow the will of God.
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
God’s word doesn’t say that, I know the plans for you and if you don’t like it you can do what you what instead. No, that is not in there anywhere, trust me I looked for it. The Bible does promise no harm, but hope and a future.
I am holding on to that. I am taking God at His word. Maybe knowing that God wants me to have a hope and a future will cheer me up.