A lot of water has slipped under the bridge of my daughter’s life the past couple of years. She found herself filing for a divorce and now has a new man in her life. When we move throughout our lives things that we did not expect happen do and change abounds. My daughter never expected to have three kids of her own and now she is the adult in the lives of four more children. The children are 16, 13, 9, 7, 7, 6 and 3 years old. I struggle as to what to call my daughter and her beau now. She and he are not step parents. They may very well be one day, but maybe not. That depends on where that water flows to next. Since I can’t find the words I will use what my grand daughter calls “Part Parents”, Part Mom and Part Dad. Sometimes your are mom/Dad. Sometimes I call you by your first name instead. Works for me.
Here are these seven kids six girls and one boy. (He is the one who is 9.) They are together as a result of their parent’s decision to make a life together and co- parent. On the outside if I never told you the background you would think they were all one family that had always been together. The laugh, argue, play and live as a family. The children don’t pay much attention to what the adults do as long as they can play and eat, they are happy. Some get along better than others. Some are closer emotionally than others. Some fuss that a sister had her shoes or a brother is being mean. Sometimes the share toys nicely sometimes they don’t. They hug and say I love you sometimes they don’t. They always share meals together and make sure the little ones have what they need. They girls help each other get dressed in the morning and find that lost shoe again. (Shoes seem to disappear around them.) The brother takes the hand of a younger sister every time they go for a walk or out in a crowded public place.The look out for each other and protect each other too. They call each other “friend” and “Stister”. (No I didn’t misspell sister, that’s how the little ones say it.) There is much happiness and love that revolves around them and you when you are with them. There is no hate and very little discontentment. They are children so sometimes one gets mad and sometimes there are tears and whining. The volume is loud. There is no quiet except when they are all sleeping. Sounds like a regular family to me.
Watching them play and interact I have learned that no matter what happens in life, when you are a family, it matters. How you got there, isn’t as important as the fact you are together and you are a family. These seven children didn’t ask for the life they got, but they are finding ways to make it work for them.
We could all take a lesson from these kids. How we got here isn’t as important as the fact that we are here. We are a family of humans in 2015 trying to get along and do life. It matters not if you support gay rights or confederate flags flying. What matters is that we are a family. It matters not what side for the aisle you find your views. It matters not what name you call God, we are a family.
As long as we all have food, shelter, clothing, can play, love, and survive. We should be happy. That should be our focus.