I asked God why does he allow people we love to die? Why does he take them when to us it looks like they still had much life to live and much to do? It’s hard grieving for someone that you know is not calling or coming back no matter how much you pray, beg, plead with God. We go through the motions of life missing their smile, their touch and their presence. We say that it gets easier with time. Well I do not know what idiot said that fist, but I can tell you it does not get any easier.
I did not get an answer to the why other than I know that God does not take someone until it is their time. When they have completed all they were meant to do. It may seem to us that they were not finished, but maybe God let’s their death be the catalyst for some other great work he wants completed.
Then I asked God to fill this hole in my being. This place where the missing pieces go that that person took when they went to heaven. I wailed and screamed at God that I can not spend the next fifty years missing what should be there. Am I mad at God? You bet I am, but what good does that do?
Finally in the silence my answer came. In the still small voice of God speaking directly to my soul, “I will fill you, I will fill all the deep dark holes in your heart with my love if you would just stop fighting.”
So, I gave up and gave it all to God.