We think of life as a cumulative of our experiences rather than the series of moments. We look back and see that we did certain things good and bad. We assume,that our life is the sum of all that we have done or had done too us. In reality life is nothing but a series of moments that we live though. Good and bad, sad and happy we live through each one and learn for each experience. What collects are our responses to the moments and our expectation over what will happen when a similar moment comes again.
We start life as babies, a blank slate that is drawn upon by the life that we lead. What we learn writes itself on our slate. We see life and we learn. We experience things and we grow. We live each moment and build on them one by one. Some moments we can control others we can’t but the result is the same. We learn moment by moment. We adjust our response by what we know happened in the past.
One thing we need to remember is that through each of these moments when we respond we either give control of our feelings to others or we control our feelings. We alone are responsible for our happiness.
We can either stay in the driver’s seat and become who we want to be or we can let other people control who we become. The trick is finding the balance between letting some one you love in to your secret place where your slate is and keeping true to yourself. Sometimes if you risk letting that person in to write on your slate the result is happiness beyond measure. Other times the outcome is heartbreak.
Chose to risk the hurt sometimes. Choose to live. Happiness and peace that comes with sharing life with another person is so very much worth the risk.
I have become an impulsive person over the past few weeks. I am usually the one to look at all the options, make a pro and con list and analyze the problem to death. Not any more. I have embraced some very primal and basic principles for living. I am not jumping out into oblivion but I am not being critical of myself and my decisions. I have changed the way I look at life. I have had some anxiety over this major change in my core system of living, but I have also found freedom. This freedom is incredible and unlike anything I have ever experienced. Here is my new list of life mottos…I reserve the right to add to it as my journey progresses. Maybe one or two of these will speak to you.
Enjoy the ride. No matter what life throws at you good or bad, find a way to enjoy it, enjoy something attached to it or enjoy the outcome.
If it feels good, do that. If something makes your feel good in your spirit, mind or body. Do that. Eat the desert, listen to the song, kiss the boy (girl) or look at the sunset.
Focus on one thing at the time. I have a bouncy brain that has trouble focusing on anything. Make a point to pin down the one important thing at that moment and focus on that before you move on to the next thing. This one is difficult but not impossible. No more multitasking in your head.
Do not over think. If something is right it is right no amount of over thinking will make it better. If something is wrong it will still be wrong if you think it over for a couple of hours or days. Just stop the over thinking.
Do not look back except for pleasurable and happy memories. You are not going backwards, don’t spend too much time looking that way.
Now or Never. Why wait for happiness? Why wait for the answer? If it brings you peace do not wait. If you have to wait for a reason, make it a valid one.
Let love be your lens. Love everyone you come in contact with, treat all humans with respect. Ok, this one is not new, but it is important to remember that the entire reason to exist in the first place is to love and be loved.
Life is nothing but a chain of moments that connect us with each other and with God. Living in the moment is as simple a life as a person can have. That is the point of this list. Stay in the moment. Love in the moment. Live in the moment.
If you have one to add to my list, drop it in the comments or email me email@example.com.
As those of you who know me personally know, I am in the midst of a divorce. Twenty three years has been boiled down to who gets what property and money. All this has caused me to think about what marriage is and what it was supposed to be.
We all know that Adam and Eve were the first couple. Eve was a part of Adam. She literally came out of him. I think marriage love is the need inside a man, in his deepest soul to find that missing piece that was taken from him when he was created and for women to find their missing home. There are several biblical verses about two becoming one flesh that support this idea.
The trouble is we don’t listen to our hearts and souls when we fall in love. We listen to our bodies and minds. As a result we end up connected with the wrong persons and not the one God intended for us to be part of.
Man has diluted marriage to a legal contract. A heartless transaction of lives that may or may not contain love.
The only true peace in marriage comes when you are able to transcend the man-made version of marriage and embrace God’s marriage structure. Easier said than done right?
It is easy when you listen to your heart. Turn off the voices of passion and tell your brain to shut up. Listen to God speaking to you in that still small voice in your soul when you look in to the eyes of the one you love. God will answer….yes this is your missing piece.
I recently spent some time thinking about words and actions in relation to emotion. I crave words and conversation from those I love. The writer in me is constantly looking for the perfect words. The lover in me wants to find the words to express my feelings. The librarian in me wants to share my love of words with others. The interchange of thought is like energy passed between souls. Reading or speaking words is a power that can be dangerous. We live in a digital society. We spend countless hours communicating with each other through various devices. I prefer texting for quick conversation and for constant contact with loved ones. I have two dear friends that I am in a perpetual text conversations that will never end. Well, not until someone drops a cell phone or one of us dies. This method of communication isn’t always the best choice depending on the person and the topic shared.
The problem with quasi communications like text or chats is that emotion is not accurately expressed or communicated. The easy ones can be expressed with emojis. The more intense emotions or feelings do not come across clearly. Tired, scared, peaceful, tense, agitated, content….these and many many more are harder to read. That is where clear words or making an actual phone call is better than counting on the person to read between the lines. Think seriously before you speak or text words. You are risking a lot of emotion when you do.
Actions on the other hand speak well and clear. If someone kisses you, they like you. If someone hits you, they don’t like you. They spend time with you, touch you, look at you and you see love in their eyes…then you are loved. Someone ignores you, you do not matter.
Words and actions are weapons of mass destruction of hearts. However you choose to use them you are responsible for the outcome. Use them wisely.