Trust is a fragile thing. Trust is a choice. Once someone has broken trust is hard if not impossible to get it back. There are some of us who can’t trust even when there is no reason for the doubt. Trust does not come natural to those people. They will doubt you while loving you. They will keep you at a distance. Hurt and life have taught them that humans are fallible and hurt you. It is not like they always set out to hurt you, they just do. People are self preservationist. It is human nature to protect one’s self. Survival of the fittest and all that. Sometimes that means other people get hurt. We all do it. If you say you don’t hurt people you are dead or lying.
If you have read my blog before you know that I have a strong opinion that love is above all things the only reason for living. It is the reason we choose to be with other humans. What are we to do if we are to love, can’t trust a soul and are scared of getting hurt?
We must keep life in perspective. Remember people are not perfect. You are not perfect. The one you choose to love is not perfect. Your children are not perfect. Trust them anyway. Learn what the people in your life are capable of doing and not doing. If you can’t love and trust them where they are in life, then don’t have them in your life.
However, if you can love them despite their faults. If they can love you despite your faults. If the good in a person outshines the bad, love them. If you can manage to trust each other even when it is difficult to do so, then do the best you can to make it work.
I am not saying that this is in anyway easy. Trust is one of the hardest things in life to do. Like love, trust is a choice. Trust and love are not emotions they are choices. We choose to love and trust. We can just as easily choose not to.
I have been looking at the blinking cursor all day. Well, not all day but a big part of the day, trying to write something. I am at a point where I can hear the words whispering in my head in ghostly far off voices, but not materializing into typed words. All I can manage is to stare at the blinking cursor like a schoolmarm tapping her foot at me waiting for some brilliant prose to come spewing forth on the white page. It just isn’t coming today, so I closed that intimidating screen and found myself here.
There is something non threatening about blog writing. It is not meant to be the greatest words or ideas that the world has ever seen. It is not expecting to be the next great American novel. So far my blog has done none of that, it is not going to. It is a place for ideas about books to have a home. A place for me to share thoughts and observations. Mostly it is a place for me to share what I have learned. Like Carol Burnett said, “We don’t stop going to school when we graduate.” My blog is a classroom, a canvas, and a open page. Blogs are easy carefree sort of workings that allow people to connect over ideas and thoughts. They are meant to be conversations and announcements, but sometimes when you least expect it they are perfectly penned prose that leave you breathless wanting more. Wanting the rest of the story and asking, where can I buy the book?
I don’t know if my blog will ever grow into wonderful things worth expanding to book form. Right now I am just happy to have a place to write freely without judgement or recourse if the passages are not scintillating and grand.