Hey You

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Yes you, sitting there scrolling and scrolling down whatever social media is your time killer of choice. What are you doing with your time? Where is your life headed? Do you want to sit there day after day, hour after hour, looking at memes, reading whiny posts from your depressed friends who are sitting there doing the same thing you are doing?

Stop it.

Get up and find a life with living. Turn that computer off, toss that phone across the room or simply look up!

Look up. See that? Life is happening and you are missing it.

If you have a dream or desire to do something different with your life, something radical, do it. Even if it is a simple as trying a new hairstyle or hobby, try it.

Don’t let anyone tell you that your ideas or dreams are stupid or unimportant. Your dreams and wants are just as valid as any ideas that anyone on this earth may have. Take the chance. You might end up being the best at whatever it is. You may succeed in ways you had could not have imagined you could.

Look up, move yourself and live a life!

The one thing that is certain, if you don’t do it, if you keep doing the same old things you always do, you will miss out on unlimited possibilities. up

Life may just turn out amazing if you look up.

I dare you.

 

No ANTS

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In a few of my posts you have heard me talk about monkey chatter. That endless, not always helpful monologue in my brain. We all have monkey chatter and the monkeys have friends. I have struggled for the past year with ANTs, Automatic Negative Thoughts. (I wish I had thought of that acronym. Not sure where it started.) These ANTS are mean little buggers that corrupt happiness with great efficiency. They cause worry and strife where none exist. I had to realize that the ANTs caused problems to appear that were not really there. The more time I spent obsessing over the ANTs the worse I felt.

There had to be a deliberate and purposeful shift in my brain. I took time to examine the ANTs. I dissected them to see what they were made of and it was not pretty. They were made of self-doubt, fear and anxiety. They said things like, “I am not good enough”, “What if…” and “I just know this isn’t going to work out.”

Once I knew what they were and how they operated, I shifted my brain to actively combat the negative thoughts. I would like to say that I did this all on my own; however, I did not. Being loved and being shown that I am beautiful, I am enough, pushed my mind to shift away from the negative thoughts.  It is not easy. It is a constant battle between me and the army of ANTs. I must stop them as soon as I see the first wiggle of a feeler antenna on its head. I splat them dead right then and do not give it a chance to advance. It takes a conscience effort to squash the ANTs and keep them away.

I know that I am loved, wanted and cherished. I also know I am no fool. The ANTs can return any second. I am at peace and I am ready for them. I will not allow the ANTS to infest me again.

 

Photo Credit: BuzzFeed.com

It’s my Choice

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I choose truth.

I choose to care.

I choose to trust.

I choose to provide.

I choose to accept.

I choose to make our life, our future a priority.

I choose to protect.

I choose to cherish.

I choose your family as part of my family.

I choose to be happy.

I choose to love.

I choose you.

You Control the Moments

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Life is simple really. It is just a matter of moments and decisions that get you from one moment to the next. Simple. No mystery about it. Just one moment then another and another. You decide what to do in the next moment. You can get brave and plan future moments, most of us do. Then there are the moments that are planned for us one after another after another. Work, school, responsibilities and obligations are just preplanned moments.

Who or what is in control for your moments and thus your life is entirely up to you. Will you let the jerk who makes you lose you temper and feel angry control your moment? Will you passively let the someone else control what happens to you in your moments?

What about God? Will you let God control your next moment?

Each life is nothing but a series of moments that come and go. We live not day by day, one day or week or year at a time like we choose to believe. No, we live one moment at a time. How we choose to live the next moment is in our control.

What? You don’t believe that? What about obligations when you must do things you do not want to do? Yes, that is in your control too. You choose to participate in what is expected of you or not. You choose what happens. Don’t give me that, you are not in control, life makes you do certain things whether you want to or not.

Wrong!

Did you get up this morning? Yes? You could have stayed in bed. You control what you do, always.

So, stop with the he made you mad and the you have to do this or that. Don’t let me hear you say your boss, parent spouse friend made you do……..No, you are in control of every moment of everything in your life.

The only two things you are not in control of are other people’s actions and acts of God. Your reaction to those two things are still in your control.

Say it with me, “I control my reactions to the actions of others and I am in charge of moments in my life one moment at a time.”

Yes you will have to contend with the consequences of your actions; however you choose the action.

Do what you choose.

Live your life your way.

Rolling the D20 is optional.

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Best Advice I can Give

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Tonight I gave a thirteen-year-old girl the best advice I had ever received in my life. I did not know at the time when I got the advice that I would one day pass it along to someone else, but I did. She needed to hear it. It was perfect timing for what is going on in her life at the exact moment that she needed it. Just as it was perfect advice that I received at the very moment that I needed it. It is the kind of advice that once you hear it is seems so simple you wonder why you didn’t think of it for yourself. Once you hear it you can’t unhear it and it seeps in to you mind just when it is needed from the first moment you hear it to the next and the next and the next moment. It is advice that will never spoil and never leave you. It is tried and tested. It has proven itself to be true and worthy of use repeatedly. It is a universal truth. I want to believe that it is a biblical truth and that it is from God. He sent this truth to someone and that someone sent it to me. Now I have passed it on like a mantel of truth to the next generation.

I will pass it on again and again as it is needed, because you see, it will be needed again. That is how this advice of truth works. Here is the catch. Just because someone hears this truth does not mean that they will receive it and will use it. It must be followed exactly for it to work. Like an exact recipe. If you deviate from the truth it will not turn out right and true. It will fall like a cake with not enough flour in the mix. This truth will fix a multitude of problems. It isn’t a miracle cure. It isn’t an easy process to follow. It is a necessary step in to finding your path and finding your way in life. It is not easy to do sometimes, often not. Often it is where the rubber meets the road and the difficult decisions must be made. It is the difference between moving forward and standing still in your pain. It is healing or not. It sometimes requires you to break before you can bend. If you follow this advice and trust yourself it will work out right. Right always wins over wrong. Lessons will be learned and life is lived. It is the cross roads of survival. It is where things happen, good or bad. What is the truth?

What is this advice that will be there when you need it? If I tell you will you promise to use it correctly and share it when the moment presents itself again?

 
If you said yes, if you agree keep reading if you said no, that you do not want that kind of responsibility, stop reading now.

 
Here it is, here is the advice.
“Listen to your heart. Trust your heart. Your mind will lie to you but your heart will away tell you the truth. It will always tell you what you need. Your heart is always right.”

 
Easy yet not. Simple yet complicated. Predictable however unfathomable.
Listen to your heart, then follow it.

Always.

What I will Never Have

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I am sitting here looking back on my life and thinking that I should have more regrets. I have missed out on a lot of things that should have happened. I have regrets, we all do, but not like what you think. We all say things happen for a reason. To an extent I believe they do, but I also believe we have free will to make decisions. As a result of my choosing to use my free will there are some things I will never have in this life and I am all right with that because what I do have is so much better.

I will never have a big, white dress church wedding. I do have a life partner, who is more committed to me than any husband. I will never be the mother of many children. I do have many children who I love and who love me. I will never be rich. I do have everything I need.

Life is all about risks, and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had.  What matters is that you are living the life you choose. You alone have to answer for yourself. So my life did not turn out the way I planned. Sometimes you have to stop worrying have faith that things will work out not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.

I thank God for the things I will never have, because of not having them I have room in my life for things that are better. God has blessed me and for that I am thankful.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

Fireproof (aka The Love Dare)

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I usually only review books and this isn’t a review technically it is an opinion. I watched the movie Fireproof. If you haven’t seen it I recommend you do, married or not. The movie is based on the book The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick. A firefighter, Caleb tells his father John about his impending divorce, and John challenges Caleb to commit to a 40-day test called, “The Love Dare.” Caleb reluctantly agrees to do the test, but more for the sake of his respect for his father than his marriage. He wife initially sees through Caleb’s half-hearted attempts to win back her heart, which deepens Caleb’s frustration. But with his father’s encouragement, Caleb continues with The Love Dare, and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God and his wife. As a result he saves his marriage.

The love dare is an interesting concept that challenges you to do things that in reality you should already be doing for and with your spouse or partner.  Some of the dares are a simple as speaking nice and the others are more challenging. The end result is a refocus of your heart and actions on the choice you made to love the other person.

The book and movie shows that the Biblical love and marriage is a choice. If you make the choice a priority your marriage will be a strong partnership. There are no fool proof ways to guarantee that the person you choose to love will love you in return. All you can do is stay true to your promise and love them.

God chose to love us. We chose to love him and each other. Love is never the wrong choice if done for unselfish reasons. The Love Dare is that choice in unselfish action.