Just Walk Away


We have all heard the old saying , Not my circus not my monkeys. It is true that when we try to wrangle monkeys that are not ours that we risk the chance of getting hurt or used.

When you find yourself in a situation that is not yours some times our first instinct it to help. If we can and it is the right thing to do we should help. Other times it is just our desire to feel needed or useful and helping is not the right thing to do. Maybe there is someone who has better skills or resources to help. Let them. It isn’t always your place to calm the storms that other create. Often getting sucked in the storm will cause you pain or unnecessary heartache.  Listen to your gut and follow what is right. If it is right to act then act. If your gut tells you to stop, don’t get involved, pay attention.

Reserve your right to literately walk away from the chaos that is not yours. Leave the situation that you can not or should not try to calm.

Choose Your Battles 

I am not sure who made this graphic but it’s spot on. I have tried to be as transparent as I can. What you see here on this blog and on my Facbook page is my digital fingerprint. I am who I am. I am not much of a mystery. What you see is what you get. I am not a fighter or drama queen. You won’t see me degrading someone in a comment section of any social media outlet. Even if I totally disagree with the opinion. I will try to express the truth in the situation without confrontation. There is so much negativity in the world these days and I am doing my best to keep it away from me.

I have decided to focus more on my inner being than looking at what is happening on the outside. I am writing everyday, which is challenging. There is this thing called life that gets in the way all the time. Oh and I have this other thing called a job that is necessary for other things like food and a roof.

I think that the battles we choose speak to who we are in our soul. What we fight for and about is what we value. If we value people we fight for them. If we value money we will fight for that. If we value love we will fight for it too.

The question is how to balance what we value in our souls to what we need in our life to survive. Sometimes those two things do not match and are not compatible. I think peace is found when we make the important stuff in our being and the needed stuff for our survival the same.

Something to think about during this time of year when the focus is on material things.



I mentioned before in a recent blog post that I want to downsize my life. I have now devised a plan. I am starting with my phone and other electronics…why are we so dependent on screens? I am downgrading my phone. Really, what one person needs a smart phone, a tablet, two computers, DVR, and two TVs? Seems insane. I hope that the result will be more real in your face time with my friends and family. More real conversations, with real connecting.

I am also looking at other things. I have over one hundred purses, tote bags, and other carrying devices of various shapes and sizes. Oh and shoes! I am up to 70 plus pairs of shoes! Half of which hurt my feet and I don’t wear them.  My library is just a smidgen less that a thousand books.(Well, that is a library not a horde.)  Of course I have a husband with things too. Between us we have three out buildings with stuff. Two small sheds and one barn! We live in a three bedroom house full of stuff. When did things become so important in our lives? OK, in all fairness, some of what we have in storage we inherited from his mother, God rest her soul and our daughter who when she moved out didn’t take all her things, so there is that.

Even though we have a lot of stuff we are very clean and organized people. I can find most everything when I need it. Boxes are labeled and stacked. Books are cataloged as a librarian’s home library should be. There is just so much of it. I have that crazy thought process that all this stuff is stored neatly, not in the way and what if we need it one day. Yeah, that is just crazy. We live in a society that if we need something I can zip down to that bog box store on the corner and get it if we don’t have it. There are so many people in this world, in my town who have nothing and I have too much.

So begins a journey of cleaning out, prioritizing, donating, selling and simplifying. If you need something, you may want to ask me if I have one, chances are I might.

Wish me luck.


Sisters and a Brother

A lot of water has slipped under the bridge of my daughter’s life the past couple of years. She found herself filing for a divorce and now has a new man in her life. When we move throughout our lives things that we did not expect happen do and change abounds. My daughter never expected to have three kids of her own and now she is the adult in the lives of four more children. The children are 16, 13, 9, 7, 7, 6 and 3 years old. I struggle as to what to call my daughter and her beau now. She and he are not step parents. They may very well be one day, but maybe not. That depends on where that water flows to next. Since I can’t find the words I will use what my grand daughter calls “Part Parents”, Part Mom and Part Dad. Sometimes your are mom/Dad. Sometimes I call you by your first name instead. Works for me.

Here are these seven kids six girls and one boy. (He is the one who is 9.) They are together as a result of their parent’s decision to make a life together and co- parent. On the outside if I never told you the background you would think they were all one family that had always been together. The laugh, argue, play and live as a family. The children don’t pay much attention to what the adults do as long as they can play and eat, they are happy. Some get along better than others. Some are closer emotionally than others. Some fuss that a sister had her shoes or a brother is being mean. Sometimes the share toys nicely sometimes they don’t. They hug and say I love you sometimes they don’t. They always share meals together and make sure the little ones have what they need. They girls help each other get dressed in the morning and find that lost shoe again. (Shoes seem to disappear around them.) The brother takes the hand of a younger sister every time they go for a walk or out in a crowded public place.The look out for each other and protect each other too. They call each other “friend” and “Stister”. (No I didn’t misspell sister, that’s how the little ones say it.)  There is much happiness and love that revolves around them and you when you are with them. There is no hate and very little discontentment. They are children so sometimes one gets mad and sometimes there are tears and whining. The volume is loud. There is no quiet except when they are all sleeping. Sounds like a regular family to me.

Watching them play and interact I have learned that no matter what happens in life, when you are a family, it matters. How you got there, isn’t as important as the fact you are together and you are a family. These seven children didn’t ask for the life they got, but they are finding ways to make it work for them.

We could all take a lesson from these kids. How we got here isn’t as important as the fact that we are here. We are a family of humans in 2015 trying to get along and do life. It matters not if you support gay rights or confederate flags flying. What matters is that we are a family. It matters not what side for the aisle you find your views. It matters not what name you call God, we are a family.

As long as we all have food, shelter, clothing, can play, love, and survive. We should be happy. That should be our focus.

…the greatest of these is love

1 Corinthians 13: 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

As the new year approaches I encourage you to love everyone. Even those who are difficult to love, those who you do not know, those who do not want love….love them all. Then express love in your actions. If only half of our county would do this our society would improve and morph in front of our eyes. Life would be different. From love comes respect, dignity, honor and encouragement.

Love is the foundation of all good things. Love is the reason we live and the reason we care for others. Love is everything. If you have all other things and don’t have love, you have nothing.  Hate is the opposite of love, but so is indifference, evil, jealousy, degrade others and judge others. You can not do those things and love someone at the same time, in the same moment.

Love is the answer. Love fixes everything. Love feeds, heals, protects, promotes good, and encourages us to do the right thing at all times. Love is life. God is love. 

We are created in the image of God. That does doesn’t mean we physically look like God. God is spirit, so it is impossible for a human flesh body to be a spirit. To love is to reflect God, to be in the image of God. To love and be loved is the greatest gift. To have the love of humans is grand, but the love of God is unfathomable.


Charity is Washing Dishes

I recently received a Thank You card in the mail from my church thanking me for a donation I gave to support a mission group coming to visit my church this Summer. A group of young people, and well they have to eat and we are going feed them. I didn’t give a donation for the thank yous but that was nice to get in the mail, I gave because it is what I do.

My grandfather told me once, “Charity starts where you are If you have time to give, give it. If you have money to share, share it. If you have food to cook, cook it and invite someone who don’t have food to eat with you. If someone else cooks you do the dishes.”  My grandfather was a mechanic with a wife and five kids. I am pretty sure he didn’t have any of those things to spare, but he did give, share and wash a lot of dishes.

Charity doesn’t have to be a big production of looking at your budget of money and time to see if you can manage to get by without it. Charity is action. If you think you should, help then you should do it. It can be a simple as handing someone half of your sandwich or washing a plate.  I have never understood why the words charity, stewardship and tithing scare Christians so much. Or why when those words are spoken in some churches there is a collective groan in the congregation.

Get over it people!

Jesus said to comfort and take care of each other. That is what we should do. Not for the recognition but because it is right. Sure, the thank yous make us feel good but that is not the point. We are to reflect Christ, and he feed, healed, clothed and loved people. Christians, real Christians, do the same and grab the dish towel too.