I am a self-proclaimed perfectionist. Case in point, I received my grades for this semester, all A’s then I looked at my GPA, 3.93, really? My perfect 4.0 gone. I was, am aghast. After I took a breath and realized that other folks would kill for that GPA I realized how obsessive I am about my performance. I began to wonder, why is that? Why am I so perfection driven? Why is it so important to me to do things well and do things perfect every time?
I have no answers. Maybe it is because my mom was, is so supportive. She says things like, “You can do anything you want to do! You can be whatever you want to be!” I never really believed that, still don’t I am a firm believer that life is what you make it but you must have the opportunities and finances to be what you want to be. I have not yet convinced myself that it is not like that and it can be different. No, I am not so sure.
I think that is my answer. I am driven to do things perfect so that I can be what I want to be, eventually. I truly feel that mediocre performance will not do. I know that I need to seek God’s guidance for this obsession. I need to know what He says about it. I am just nervous at what I will find out. Let’s see what His word says,
King James Version (KJV)
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
New King James Version (NKJV)
21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
At first glance I see conformation that I am right to be a perfectionist, then I read the rest of the second verse, “sell what you have and give to the poor”. Like I thought there is a catch. It is perfectly alright to seek perfection if it is for the right reasons. Seek to be like God and while you’re at it help the poor. Don’t use the pursuit for perfection for your own selfish gains.
I hear you Lord, loud and clear.
I can’t promise next semester I won’t be obsessive about grades, but I understand why I shouldn’t be. I will try to focus on the work it takes to get there, not the grade. Maybe a 3.93 isn’t so bad after all.